Its been an overwhelming circus of emotions this past few days, ideas and fears grasp my being, my core has been distraught, I suddenly questioned my capacity.. my ability.

For the most part of December I was not myself anymore. I failed to see the fun, I failed to see the rapture it used to give me, I failed to hold on to myself and just allowed fear to eat me.

I was a big FAILURE. That is what I felt, that is what I see in their obscuring eyes, in their head I could see the  hidden words on which their mouths can’t speak of.

“There she is the one who keeps on failing”


I was told that I failed my own expectations, the reason I can’t seem to forgive myself, the reason why I’m a bloody mess. Who knows?, Maybe he’s right, maybe I’m not cut out for it, maybe I’m too soft, maybe I’m just a big loser.

Yesterday I decided to  throw in the towel and started to go through life blindfolded. YES! once again I am walking in this dreary path of which I have no idea where I’m heading to and whats going to come around the bend. I don’t want to feel this way, I don’t want to be in a place where I felt inadequate, unable, I want to live LIFE and I want to enjoy it as much as I can by keeping my worth, piece by piece.

I’m no longer in my 20’s I wanted to find a place where I could feel my worth. And so I brazen through the unknown, I no longer kept a requirement, I have no list, Nor no bigotry, I have only but ONE care! and it is to live life and work where my soul is at peace and where my passion resides.






How much is your shit on the window?
gazing with your black and white eyes
head up high with nose upturned
stating I was hurt by your words
when you yourself has been throwing stones

How much is your shit on the window?
when now you feel the pang of your rudeness
when your royal arse been kicked off your throne
as finally my dear you’re able to taste
the hurtful words that has gone out of your lips

Proud, rude and boastful arent we?

now my dear friend I ask thee…

HOW much is your shit on the window?

bato bato sa langit ang tamaan wag magalit 😉


Caveat to the eyes that move with intention

  to the tongue that gives splendor to the air

  to the touch that only holds you in your glory

 and sadly fades when life’s been sour and gray.

Caveat to those trhat see you only in your light

 and let go of your hand when you need to be held tight.

Caveat to the smiles whose eyes dont share their joy

 caveat my dear friend for their heart doesn’t hold yours.

To the eyes whose heart might not be in the right place

Whose eyes that only sees your faults and find happiness in your disgrace

Caveat to their wretched souls…