My Not So Fairytale

If you’re a Disney kid, you would know that true love is like “zing”, it’s what could make you get out of coma like Snow White and Aurora, or make you fly to the moon on a magic carpet or see the prince within a wild beast. It’s all too magical when you’re a kid, and you dream of one day feeling it, having it, bathing in its warmth. But like the rest of anything magical in this world this idea fades, we grow up only to discover that it’s not as easy as it was in the films, it’s not always like that, sometimes we meet them, sometimes we don’t, but what if you meet that person, by Nicholas Sparks words…

“How far should a person go in the name of true love?”

Would a simple declaration suffice? would songs and melody calm and entice? would an embrace and a kiss under the moon would bring a lovers delight? would you even put up a good fight?

And what if it’s not reciprocated, can you bear the pain of that childhood wish going down the drain? would you even ask the Lord above for a reason why it has come this way?

I wiped my tears and let the air-dried it up, no one should bear this loneliness and hurt.. no one should bear the overflowing love and passion for someone.. it’s all too crazy, the dramatics, the emotions, it’s not a fleeting romance.. but a single TRUTH.

That at times, we get to fall for someone so hard,that we can’t stop ourselves from falling and not breaking us apart, that it becomes a blessing and a curse, that it’s the only thing that is pure and real in you… A single person becomes the only thing that matters in your world.

But we are not in Disney film, this is the real world, and perhaps there is no happily ever after. Sometimes the only thing that matters most to us, is something we just can’t have…
So I ask you again

“How far should a person go in the name of true love?”

“We have to allow ourselves to be loved by the people who really love us, the people who really matter. Too much of the time, we are blinded by our own pursuits of people to love us, people who don’t even matter, while all that time we waste and the people who do love us have to stand on the sidewalk and watch us beg in the streets! It’s time to put an end to this. It’s time for us to let ourselves be loved.” – C. JoyBell C.

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Me and the Moon

Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On a-Jupiter and Mars

Originally sung by Frank Sinatra, this song wandered in my mind as I went to the rooftop and look out for a shot of the moon. I love the moon, I love the coldness of the wind, even the drizzle that slowly lands on my skin.

The moon is in its first quarter tonight, positioned way up high in the sky. It’s actually hard trying to look at it since I have to extend my neck just to see it; Wondering what does the man on the moon felt being so far away from the ones he love. How did he do it? going away, far, way beyond any touch of human skin. How did you say goodbye? Why did you even leave? Questions pour in my head as I gazed at the white orb shining brightly against the darkness that engulfs the sky.

How I would love to trade places with him even just for tonight, so I can see the beauty of the world from afar, watch the clouds form, to check if you can actually see the great wall from space, leave any cuts and pains.. mourn the broken and think through the words that’s been said, words unsaid and time wasted.

If only I could go back, rewind it so things would be left unspoken, leaving only strangers, people who shares the same space but not knowing each other. Yes, contrary to the popular saying, for me it would have been better not knowing than to have felt the lost.

I grabbed my camera and tried to get the shot, but my hands trembled as the tears poured. How can such a beautiful thing leave a devastating result?, How is it when you try not to hurt anyone you still ends up getting hurt and worst hurting that someone you try to protect? How can something so good could work like a double edge sword.. hurting me, hurting you? How can something you waited to feel all your life ends up breaking you apart?.

I hate you Disney this is your fault for making me believe in “happily ever after”.

I guess that’s why Every Rose has its Thorns became a song, because no matter how beautiful and sweet something is, it could still hurt you if you’re not careful.

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