This Love

Lingering again back to the days and nights when we thought we fully understand.

 

I am not foolish nor blind

I am nor crazy nor desperate

but what am I right now is a person who feels

Feels the throngs of passion,

of hurt and worries,

of desire and sweet anticipation,

Of one day meeting you.

 

Again these are the nights when I would stay up and linger, back to the days when I thought my world would be with you.

 

So now as I get myself back to sleep, I’d like to listen one more time to the music of my love.. the one that belongs to you.

 

*******

Songs by Miss Angela Aki, a fave artist of mine.

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Only the Eyes Asks

Breathing hard as my eyes danced with the sun’s rays

flickering, prancing, taunting my beaten face

I lie half awake as I wonder where you’ve gone

remembering your sly smile that beams at me

and lingers for a while…

 

 

Where you’ve gone?,

where you’ve been?

do you ever wonder what happened to me my friend?

Shards of Solitude

When the only thing left to do is try to fool oneself.

I used to not feel anything
believing I’m incapable
deceiving the lots
restrained to reasons
anesthetized for too long

I’ve always been in forlorn
used to the silence
and scared to their deceit
yet, now here I am again
with this feeling that is so strange

Crying over something
that is not supposed to be
I have always accepted it
knowing your heart is not for me

Kept my mouth shut
deny all the truth
hide all my tears
smile and act like I’m incapable
twist the honesty out of the fool.

 

 

This post is a reminiscent of last years feelings.. Anesthetized For Repair

The Day I said Goodbye

It was hot and humid that day, reluctantly you came near me, gazing with those big orbs and long lashes that you have. I tried to make you smile by squinching my face and trying to be all cute, you gave me a small smile but your eyes remained the same.

I walked past you, and you didn’t say a word. You just followed us to the main door, took pictures with the group and slowly held my hand; I felt my body froze as your fingers interlaced with mine. I wish I could cry, I wish I could tell the world your mine, that we love each other.. but sadly we can’t. We stood there smiling at the cameraman, saying cheese or sex or whatever word it is that will open our mouth in a half smile. It was the nicest thing that happened that day.

Soon after they were giving me hugs, bidding farewell and endless advices and promises, words are wind as what George Martin would say, but I just let them be and nod respectfully as my ears heard nothing, but remained focus on your voice.. BUT you were just looking at me, not a word came from your mouth.

I boarded the minivan, and you didn’t even follow. At the airport you called me up, and said sorry

sorry for not following, sorry for not hugging me, sorry for not saying goodbye, sorry for not fighting for US.

I remained silent, none of the apologies matter anyway. I packed my bags so as we could lead different lives, lives that we thought we’ll both share.

“Ok” was all I could muster to say then I turned off the phone and break the sim card in two.

It was all that is left to do anyway.

 

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