For The First Time

err to my hubby.. 🙂

courtesy of

Gazing out into the sun
it felt so unreal
to have this feeling inside my heart
burning me up inside
like a children s echo in my heart
that is left dancing on the streets
where everyone else could see
how delighted I am when you’re with me

I am ecstatic and scared
I am forlorn but a bit brave
I cannot help not to quiver then smile
cause you are the wish that I made to the stars.


Have you ever wish for something that hard that you thought it will never came to be? that it’ll never happen and that only a miracle can make it come true.

 Have you ask for any signs? like an answer from up above.. to show you the right way, to guide you, to help you better understand.

 I have asked a simple question, with a very bizarre and twisted play on verbal and action cues as an answer, I even pinpoint the specific timing and date, even the colour of the clothing or the ornament. I knew it’ll be a 80% chance failure, that it wont happen.. because I damn made sure it is that hard that it wont look like a coincidence. It has never happened to me before or maybe to anyone…


I was left confused  for a while, I came to grasp his power, felt his handwork and felt his eye on me. I came to see the people around me lifting the veil of blindness and disillusionment. Letting me know whats real, whats ESSENTIAL.  How could it be so hard? why does it have to be complicated? when love is really simple to begin with.. You just have to give it whole-heartedly, as HE has given us.

 And now as I write this I feel a surge of excitement and horror, of chills with rainbow-colored fantasy, a hodge podge of emotions flowing. I guess I am ready to see this through.. to finally do it, and open the doors once again and let myself fall and be swept away by you.

** this is a poem I made before tying the knot.. supposedly my vow but I forgot to copy it from my wordpress dashboard doh!**