Its been an overwhelming circus of emotions this past few days, ideas and fears grasp my being, my core has been distraught, I suddenly questioned my capacity.. my ability.

For the most part of December I was not myself anymore. I failed to see the fun, I failed to see the rapture it used to give me, I failed to hold on to myself and just allowed fear to eat me.

I was a big FAILURE. That is what I felt, that is what I see in their obscuring eyes, in their head I could see the  hidden words on which their mouths can’t speak of.

“There she is the one who keeps on failing”


I was told that I failed my own expectations, the reason I can’t seem to forgive myself, the reason why I’m a bloody mess. Who knows?, Maybe he’s right, maybe I’m not cut out for it, maybe I’m too soft, maybe I’m just a big loser.

Yesterday I decided to  throw in the towel and started to go through life blindfolded. YES! once again I am walking in this dreary path of which I have no idea where I’m heading to and whats going to come around the bend. I don’t want to feel this way, I don’t want to be in a place where I felt inadequate, unable, I want to live LIFE and I want to enjoy it as much as I can by keeping my worth, piece by piece.

I’m no longer in my 20’s I wanted to find a place where I could feel my worth. And so I brazen through the unknown, I no longer kept a requirement, I have no list, Nor no bigotry, I have only but ONE care! and it is to live life and work where my soul is at peace and where my passion resides.





What’s Forever For

February is fast approaching guys and we all know what that means, one of the most commercially biased season of the year is soon to come. Yes its the hearts day or Valentines day, and because of that I’d like to share one of the most depressing love song that I know. (sweet ko nuh) 😀

Well I just want to share this not because I want to make the “forever alone” people out there hopeless, but I’d like to share this to those who have found love, their other half, the one who could complete their sentences, brought balance and meaning in their life, found them when they are lost; Their SOULMATES.

cheezyy ba? hahah ( hmm sorry I’m a hopeless romantic)

SERIOUSLY, Guys you are blessed to find that person, not all of us could say that we are married or in a relationship with someone we truly love. Sadly most just settle… because its familiar, because it’s already there, or perhaps they knocked up someone. Guys I dare you to jump, reach for that kind of love that you think you deserve to have, and if you find it… Don’t let go.

This song is like a WAKE UP CALL, it asks you to do something, RELATIONSHIP takes WORK to grow.


I Don’t Need Forever – by Chengboiser

Forever, please don’t say that word
I’d rather you say it to me day by day
I’d rather we kiss every morning and make love at night
I’d rather we hold hands while reading a book
I’d rather we cuddle as we sip our cup of coffee
than to promise forever then let it die


I Don’t Need Forever: TAGALOG VERSION

Habambuhay, mahal ko maari bang wag mong ipangako
wag mong sabihin ako’y mamahalin ng wagas
kung isang araw ito rin naman ay aalpas
Nanaisin ko pang sambitin mo araw araw
Nanaisin ko pang idaan sa halik at init ng pagniniig
Nanaisin ko pang magkahawak ang ating mga kamay habang tayo’y magkaakbay
Nanaisin ko pang kasama kang umiinom ng kape at sakin ika’y nakasandal
Nanaisin ko ang lahat ng  maliliit na bagay na yan
kesa sa araw na ang pangako mo sakin ay sya mo namang bibitiwan.