Barenaked


Don’t you hate bad mornings, I had a rather bad sleep and woke up in the wrong side of the bed. I just have that eerie feeling that I have to get out of the house and pursue something to keep my mind on track.

I went out to the city to attend a first Friday mass, then took shots of Quiapo in its frenzied state. I tried to keep my focus but it doesn’t do me any good. I need to be tired, so I went to Morayta, take care of my license and took shots again. Then, I was tired, but my mind is still shambled I couldn’t hold it any longer. My eyes got teary, and I started sniffing, I wiped it off before anyone can see, but it happened again and again that I just covered my face and act like I’m asleep. what am I supposed to do, I have been unfocused and darn hell I’m pathetically broken, torned in two..

I fell in love. As simple as that, I fell in deep shit love, and I reckon this is the one for the records where Shakespeare was able to write his Romeo and Juliet and Michael Angelo his Sistine Chapel. Mine would be endless poetry, photography and numerous ballads that only the shower room could hear the melody.

I can’t comprehend anything right now, and it seems so bad that I know I can’t do anything. I have been too proud to think that I could undermine my feelings, that I could twist it into something as genuine as a friendship, and although my intentions are always pure and true, and his happiness will always comes first.. a part of me always die at night knowing his heart could never feel it too.cry

How many times I tried to runaway and be a hermit, but every time I tried to a part of me can’t fathom leaving him behind. That every song, laughter and stories left a mark, and that every single piece of me just can’t lie anymore.

It’s the one that I have been waiting to feel, its true love. Pure and untarnished, selfless, forgiving, patient, and endless. This must be the reason why God has delayed my plans. I have to feel this.. I have to discover how it is.

Because of this I realized I’m brave, oh yes I’ve been so brave, I have never initiate to spoke the words of love, I have never held on to someone, I’m always strong and independent and I’m usually the one to say goodbye.. but now all I want to do is say I love you.. I don’t even need an answer.. I just want to say it every day..

I want to say it, so that my heart would stop from burning, my eyes from tearing and my lips from quivering. That every action would at least have a meaning, that my rhymes would find its melody and camera its center.

It’s the best and worst addiction of all… to find your true love and YET to just let it go since you know very well that he was never meant to stay, perhaps he just came to change you, to make you better.

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away-Seether.

Now here lies my soul and heart.. bare naked.. hoping I would finally heal and have peace.  maybe I should stop from writing a bit.

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4 thoughts on “Barenaked

    • Thank you for the kind words, and yes I did visit your blog. You’ve got a lot of achievement there and inspiring stories as well. I’m actually a follower 😀

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